XXIX. Big Black Dick and the Phallic Island

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You are Big Black Dick, aka BBD. You're the younger brother of Gru, and your parents are Doktor Zork. You're a famous pornstar, known for his large black pecker, even though he's of another race.

You're in the middle of fucking your girlfriend when you suddenly hear a loud noise outside. It sounds like it could be an explosion or something similar, but then again it might just be some sort of natural disaster.

"What the fuck is going on?"

whip your cockchucks

"It's nothing. Just some weird lightning storm or something." You tell your girlfriend.

fuckyfuck

You then go back to fucking your girlfriend.

The loud noise doesn't let up, and it's followed by a pounding on your door.

"Get the fuck off me!" your girlfriend screams, as you push her away. You quickly put your pants and belt back on.

pull your back down and approach the door with your cock in hand.

"Who is it?"

the door swings open, and you see a barely-clothed blonde bombshell. Her breasts are the size of cantaloupes, and her skin is as white as chalk.

"Hi...I'm...umm...Lilith." She says, still looking at the floor.

"What the fuck are you doing here?

milk your dick

"I heard a lot of screaming, and well, I figured it was my job to investigate."

fuckmeat

"Well, you did the right thing, but you should really watch who you tell your fucking investigations to.

> You say "milk"

"I...think you're right. Anyway, I should go."

she leaves and you close the door.

"I need to go to work now."

You give your girlfriend a quick kiss goodbye, and then head out the door.

> You say "fuckmeat"

You wake up and find yourself in a black room. You're strapped to a chair, with a ball-gag in your mouth and a dick-tail sticking out of your pants. You notice there's a number of cuts on your arms.

Gru is standing ontop of you, pressing his thumb against the bridge of your nose. He wears a mask similar to the one the Killer wore.

"I'm glad you're awake, now we can get this over with."

mcfucking

"Yeah, I know it's been awhile. So how have you been doing, Jimmy?"

Fuck you !" you say.

You kick Gru in the shin, and he presses down on your head.

"Quiet! I asked you how you've been doing, not the whole complaining routine."

"I'm fine."

Gru takes a seat and pats the seat next to him.

"Come on, you're finally talking to me like a normal person. Now tell me about yourself.

> You tickle gru with your penis.

You reach down with your hand, and begin to slowly tickle the sides of Gru's face with your fingers.

He begins to smile, and his eyes begin to tear up.

"Stop!" he laughs.

"Now tell me, how have you been doing? Are you happy?"

"Yeah..."

"That's good. It's good to be happy."

Gru stops you from tickling him again.

"I'm not sure why I'm talking to you, you're a fucking monster."

"And that's a bad thing?

> You say "mcfuck"

You begin to feel an ache in your throat. Gru's eyes begin to tear up as well.

"Please, don't make me do this."

He begins to sob into his hands, and you're only a few seconds away from letting the poison out. You could say you're sorry, but honestly, you're not sure if that would even help.

You decide to say something else.

"It was a joke. I'm sorry."

He cries into his hands for a few more seconds, and then wipes his eyes.

> You say "im sorry "

"I forgive you." He says, attempting to keep a smile on his face.

You feel the pain of the poison as it makes its way down your throat. It's only seconds before you feel yourself growing weak, and your eyes closing for the final time.

doktor zork bursts into the room, holding the antidote in his hands.

"Ah, Gru. You're back. I have saved the day again!"

He looks down at you and drops the vial, before catching it again.

"He was a lot harder to get than I thought he would be. Oh well, he'll be fine now."

doktor zork presses the vial into your cold, dead hands.

"It's called an antidote. It should save you from ever being a real monster."

> You take the antidote before you die.

You quickly swallow the vial, and begin to feel your strength return.

You cough a few times, and begin to breathe normally. The pain in your chest goes away, and you're able to sit up.

Doktor zork asks why you swallowed the whole vial, but you don't respond. You just crawl out of your restraints and leave the room.

"You fool! I gave him the antidote! He was going to kill me!"

You run down the hallways, hearing darla and gru running behind you.

gru stuffs darla into his maw, and chases you through the lab.

"You little cunt!"

You continue to run, until you find yourself on the landing platform.

Darla stands there, holding a tray of rotten meat and other unappetizing things.

> You say "whats a maw"

"A maw is a horrible creature that eats horrors. Gru can turn into a maw."

"Are you talking about gru?"

"No, I'm talking about the maw. He's not really a maw. He's just really large and scary looking."

"Ah, okay. So what's a maw eat?"

"It eats whatever it wants. It usually feeds on corpses, but will eat living things if it has to."

"

gru eats the dead meat !" you say.

"I see... well, he'll eat what I have left."

"It's not very appetizing."

"You're just realizing this now?"

"No, but I'm sure it won't be very appetizing to gru either. Anyway, what's the plan?"

"The plan is to kill darla, and get gru out of this place."

"What's the reason?"

"Darla is a big scary monster that eats the living. I'm not really fond of her."

"I see.

darla and gru are both maws !" you say.

"Yes, they are. They're also in league with each other."

"Why would a human eat the living?"

"Why do you think? Hunger. The need to survive. Just like we all are."

"

> You say "who turned gru into a maw?"

"I did."

"You? Why?

> You say "doktor zork, did you turn your son into a maw"

"No, his mother did."

"His mother? Then who turned him?"

"He was already a maw when I found him. It's a long story."

"Then who created the maw league?"

"I did, for awhile I was bored and wanted to mess with the timelines. I've since stopped because it's a lot of work and it's very hard to keep track of what's going on. Who knows what changes I've made to the past due to my tinkering. If you change something it can sometimes have far reaching effects. Imagine what would happen if I created a maw league?"

"It would eat the living."

"Exactly. That's why I stopped creating them.

> You say "maw tickles "

"So you don't think the maw league would be a problem?"

"No, they wouldn't be a problem."

"But they could be a possibility."

"Exactly."

"I see. So what will you do with the maw? Kill it?"

"No, I'm keeping him. He's very useful."

"You're going to keep him as a pet?"

"As a guard."

"A guard?"

"Yes, I'm going to use him to guard my lab!"

"

> You quickly flee the lab to escape the maws.

You turn and run out the lab, before turning and leaping off the railing to try and grab on to one of the pipes below. You make a mad scramble for it, grabbing on just as darla is about to step on you.

"Darla!" gru cries.

You see darla staring at you with a hungry look in her eyes. You know she's going to lunge at you soon. You need to act now.

> You eat darla.

You lunge forward and wrap your hands around darla's head, pulling it into your mouth and biting down on her soft fleshy cheeks. She lets out a scream of agony mixed with ecstasy as you chew and eat her face off.

> You say "its a dog eat dog world hah"

"Yes, it is." You say and quickly start eating darla's face.

You eat darla's face until you feel a gurgling in her throat. Then you stop eating her, you then hear a loud slurp.

"She's dead." Gru says.

You turn and see gru sitting down on a table, his head in his hands. You look at darla's body and see that you were right, she has indeed been completely eaten, head, bones and all. You slowly move closer to gru to check if he is in fact eaten or just pretending.

> You suck gru's nose.

You lunge forward and wrap your hands around gru's head, pulling it into your mouth and biting down on his soft fleshy nose. He lets out a scream of agony mixed with ecstasy mixed with shock as you chew and eat his nose off.

gru rewinds time to get his nose back

"What are you doing!" gru shouts.

You continue sucking on his nose while gru desperately tries to stop you, trying to grab your hands, his feet and his head all at once. Eventually he manages to stop you and begins rewinding time again.

> You say "poggers"

"Darla was just trying to help. You could have just let her, you fucking dick!" pixie shouts.

"You really thought you could eat me? I'm not even a monster, I'm just an idiot."

> You say "hi idiot im dad"

"Who are you?" gru asks.

"I'm your father."

You smile and gru's eyes bulge out of his head.

"No, no, no, no!" gru says.

"You see, this is what happens when you try to eat your father."

"I don't have a father!" gru says.

"Well, now you do."

You drop to the floor and begin petting gru's head.

> You say "envoke the constants"

"It's like the first time I met your mother. Remember that?" you say.

> You envoke the constants.

"We were on a class trip to the museum, and we saw the manticore. It was love at first sight."

"What are you doing?" gru asks.

"Remembering our first meeting."

> You envoke the constants.

"And we ended up getting married, and having these two lovely children."

"Stop!" gru says.

"She was so beautiful, and she still is."

"You must stop!" gru says.

"She gave me two children who were so full of life. They will be missed."

"Stop!" gru says.

"And you gave me four students to carry on their legacy."

"I don't have students!" gru says.

> You say "YOU HAVE STUDENTS"

"You do now."

You stand up and point at gru.

"These four will carry on your work!" you say.

"I don't have any students!" gru says.

"You will now."

"What?" gru asks, scared.

"This!" you say, grabbing gru and giving him a big hug.

"Ah, no, I'm scared." gru says.

> You cUM.

You stand up and begin feeling horny.

"I think I'm going to cum." you say.

"What?" gru asks, scared.

"Don't you do anything until I get back?" you say, starting to walk away towards the lake.

"Ah, okay."

> You take a nut in the lake.

You walk over to the lake, and begin jerking off. You take out your dick, and wade up to your knees in the water.

"Ah, this is a nice change of pace." you say.

"What are you doing?" gru asks.

"Peeing." you say.

You continue stroking your dick as you go pee in the lake. You aim, and fire. The stream of piss hits the water and causes a small wave.

"Ah, good aim."

You aim again, and fire.

> You cum, and a tsunami is created.

You continue peeing in the lake as you begin to feel your balls tighten.

"Oh fuck." you say.

You look at the lake, and see that the tide is going out. The water level is low, and there's a small island sticking out of the water.

"I think I'm going to fuck something." you say.

You start to feel your dick go super soft, as you begin to empty your balls. A few more shots of piss hit the water, and there's a small explosion as the last few drops of cum hit the lake.

you created an island from your cum, and nuclear piss.

You look down at the island, and it's shaped like a dick.

"I did it." you say.

There's a loud boom, and the island begins to sink back into the water.

gru stands next to you with his flaccid cock in hand. You watch as he begins to stroke it.

"I did it." gru says.

You turn to him, and he's grinning.

"Ah, yes you did."

a small droplet of gru's cum dribbles out of his cock and splashes into the lake creating a small wake of aquatic cum

"I love you." you say, looking at gru.

You walk over to him, and kiss him. He puts his hand behind your head, and kisses you back.

> You say "stop!!!!!"

You wake up, and find that you had a dream about your sister. You're glad you woke up, because it wasn't a good dream.

"What was the point of the dream?" you think.

You hear a knock at your door. You get up, and walk over to the door, opening it.

It's Qweepas.

"Hello?" you say.

"Hello."

"What do you want?" you ask.

"Do you have any milk?"

> You say "is your name qweepas fing?"

"Yes, my name is qweepas fing."

"Oh, well I have some milk. Do you want some?"

"Oh yes please."

You go back to bed and finish your dream of sister.

you return to your dream about the phallic island and gru at the lake

a massive tsunami has formed from gru's droplet you're now in a tree with gru and the wave is threatening to topple the tree over.

"We need to get off this fucking island." gru shouts, "Now!"

Gru shouts at his bones the the wave begins to crash over the tree you're in. You grab gru's hand and the both of you swim out of the way, grabbing whatever bones you can before the tree falls over.

> You use the bones as rafts.

You grab the rafts and try to steer them out of the way of falling trees, but most of them don't make it. The water is becoming flooded with dead trees, as you use the last of your energy to swim out of the way of a large tree trunk.

You collapse on the raft, and realize that you've been washed far from the island. You look around and see that there's no land in sight, only open sea and floating trees.

> You cum.

You start to think about your sister and how much you wish she was here with you right now. You think about all the things you could do with her. You wish you had asked her more questions, but who knows where she is.

"I miss my sister." you think.

The sun is setting, and your vision starts to blur. You don't want the dream to end, but you know it's ending anyway.

"Cum for me." you hear gru say in your head, "I'm cumming."

You wake up and find yourself in a black room. You're strapped to a chair, with a ball-gag in your mouth and a dick-tail sticking out of your pants. You notice there's a number of cuts on your arms.

Gru is standing ontop of you, pressing his thumb against the bridge of your nose. He wears a mask similar to the one the Killer wore.

"I'm going to ask you some questions, and I want you to answer honestly. If I feel like you're lying, your nose gets it's first."

Gru presses his thumb against your nose, causing you to immediately sneeze.

> You say "gru, its me im your brother"

"I don't know what you're talking about, now let me ask you some questions."

"Okay..."

Gru grabs your chin and looks into your eyes.

"When is your birthday?"

"January seventeenth."

"Who are your parents?

> You say "doktor zork "

"My father is doctor 0ff zork."

Gru pushes your head down, and grabs a thumbtack from the table. He sticks it into your neck, right below your Adams apple. It doesn't hurt, but blood trickles down your neck.

"Tell the truth."

> You say "my parents are doktor zork, i am your brother "

"Stop lying!"

Gru pulls out the thumbtack and sticks it into your neck again. This time it goes through your skin, and blood spurts out of your neck.

"Stop it!

> You say "i am your brother!!!!"

Gru drops you and laughs.

"Yes, you are. It's so easy to trick him. It is also so easy to kill him. I will be taking both options. Now, it's time to make the harvest."

"The harvest?

Gru turns off the lights and grabs you by the hair, lifting you up to see what looks like a large table. On it are several tubes connected to various fluids and chemicals. A chair sits empty next to them.

> You say "Gru stop this please, I'm your brother "

"Ah, the sacrificial lamb. How touching. Now, we need to get you ready for the harvest."

Gru puts a mask over your face and attaches what looks like a small tank on your back.

gru grabs your pickle and smashes it on the table, filling it with blood.

"This pickle will be your gift to the ritual, brother."

Gru puts the pickle in a small backpack and puts it on your back.

you see a camera in your vison and hear gru mutter something in latin.

"This is one of our newer inventions, brother. Now we'll just put some dill in the tank on your back and I'll turn on the machine..."

Gru fiddles with the backpack and you see the pickle's skin turn blue. It kicks and flails in the tank, but nothing happens.

"Now, now, don't struggle. You need to relax."

gru tickles the pickle for a few moments, and then stops.

"We need to wait for the chemicals to mix, brother. Do you mind if I take a seat?

you see a chair next to the table.

"Sure. "

Gru sits down and crosses his legs. After a few minutes, he grabs a small flask from his pocket and takes a drink.

"It's done, brother."

you see the skin on the pickle go back to normal.

"

> You say "what is the shitting rule? "

Gru laughs.

"That was a joke, brother! Sheesh!"

Gru grabs your hands and ties them behind your back.

"Ah, how the tables turn, now."

You struggle to break free, but it's no use.

> You say "what is the pickle rule?"

Gru stops and stares at you.

"The pickle rule is..."

Gru starts chuckling to himself. He goes over to a bookcase and grabs a large, leather bound book.

"The pickle rule is..."

Gru opens the book and flips through it.

"I think it's in here."

Gru finds the rule he's looking for and slowly walks over to you. He opens the book to a page with a large, messy black script.

> You say "what is the pickle rule??"

Gru closes the book and slaps you in the face.

"The pickle rule is, if you lie, you die."

Gru slaps you again.

"I didn't stutter, fudge packer."

> You say "your an ass stuffer!!"

Gru begins laughing loudly.

"Brother, you are the biggest idiot I have ever had the fortune of knowing."

Gru grabs your tie and yanks it so hard that it tears. He then kicks you in the chest and sends you onto your back.

"The fuck's your problem, huh?"

You stare up at him as he kneels over you.

"I don't have a problem. You're the one that's acting like a shithead."

Gru punches you in the face, knocking you out.

you wake up in gru's ass !!!

Gru sits down on a stool and grabs a roll of bandage. He then begins wrapping it around his forearm.

"This is for you."

You groan in pain as gru begins sticking a long, metal spike into your ass.

> You say "what is the bandage for???"

"I cut my arm on a rusty bolt."

Gru raises an eyebrow.

"Really? How did that happen?"

"Well, like I said, I was trying to fix the tractor and I fell off."

Gru stops poking you and looks at you.

"That's it?"

"Yep."

Gru shakes his head.

"How the hell did you get a spike through your ass, gru? Tell me the truth! "

You stare blankly ahead and shrug your shoulders.

"I don't know."

Gru bursts out in laughter.

"Fucking hilarious, you idiot."

Gru stands up and grabs you by the collar.

"Come on, I'll show you."

Gru drags you out of the shed and towards a strange machine.

"What the fuck is this?"

"It's a lie detector. If you try to lie, it detects the increase in pulse rate and keeps track of it.

> You say "is the pickle rule invoked?"

Gru laughs again.

"Nah, that's just for show."

Gru pulls you towards the machine and slaps you hard across the face.

"It's not my fault if you're incompetent, you know."

Gru slaps you again.

> You piss and shit in the machine.

You grunt and push your legs against the machine.

"It's working! It's working!" you yell.

Gru looks at the machine.

"Yeah, well get this thing off me."

Gru pulls out the spike and throws it on the ground.

the machine begins to milk you !!!

Gru pulls you to your feet.

"You're fired."

"What?! But I just got here! "

Gru grabs you by the collar and stares into your eyes.

"Are you following me, fudge packer?"

"No, no!"

shit !!!

You feel a stream of shit run down your leg and into the metal funnel of the machine.

"Stop doing that!" you say as you try to stop yourself from excreting.

Gru begins pushing you towards the door.

"Goodbye, shithead."

> You say "COCKHEAD"

Gru looks at you with confusion.

"What did you say?"

"Cockhead."

"What's cockhead?"

You look around.

"It's when someone is an idiot."

Gru begins to laugh.

> You say "CUMHEAD"

Gru looks at you with confusion.

"What's cumhead?"

"It's when someone is a cocksucker."

Gru begins laughing uncontrollably.

"It's not my fault if you're incompetent, you know."

> You say "piss"

Gru looks at you and sighs.

"What do you want to know about the devil?"

You think for a moment.

"Is he married?"

"No."

"Have kids?"

"Nope."

"Drives a car?"

"Nope."

> You say "gru.... are you the devil??"

"No, but I'd like to get your soul."

You look around nervously.

"You.... can't take me over?

> You say "gru what are you... are you a maw...."

"A manticore. Yes."

Gru looks at you.

"Well, what would you like to know?"

"What are you exactly?"

"I'm a devil."

You think for a moment.

"So is God a devil?"

"No."

> You say "what is the phallic devil?"

Gru looks at you as you sweat nervously.

"A manticore doesn't have a dick, you idiot."

You sweat nervously.

"So.... what is a devil, then?"

"A demon."

"What's your name?"

"Manticore."

"Do you like it?"

"Yes."

"What's your wife's name?"

"Vixen."

"Do you have children?"

"Yes."

"What are their names?"

Gru stares at you.

"What do you want to know?"

You think for a moment.

"How did you get your name?"

"My father called me that when he saw my power."

"What's your real name?"

"I don't tell strangers my real name."

> You say "not even your brother?"

"No."

"When's your brother coming back?"

"I don't know."

"Do you like him?"

"No."

Gru looks at you, raises an eyebrow.

> You raise your cock and use it as a lightning rod.

Gru stares at you.

"What are you doing?"

"You said you'd only show me how to get home if I did something interesting, well I thought sucking a dick would be pretty interesting."

"You're an idiot."

Gru looks around and slaps you.

> You say "the ened "

"You want to see my endowment?"

"Is that what it's called?"

Gru stands there and thinks for a moment.

"Fine."

Gru drops to his knees.

"Do you have a dick?"

You shake your head no.

the end