XXVIII. Rick’s Skull Puzzle

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You are Rick Shanchez, the renowned inventor of the interdimensional portal gun, you have a grandson named Morty who is also an inventor and you have two other grandchildren. You live in a house on the outskirts of town called the Shandor House.

You are standing outside your house with your wife waiting for your two grandsons to come out of the local movie theater.

As you and your wife stand in silence a portal opens up behind you. Out of the portal steps the ghost of an old man.

> You say "tip"

You tip the ghost and he floats into the portal.

"Thanks for that" you say to the portal before returning to waiting with your wife.

A portal opens up behind you and out of it steps your two grandsons.

"Hey Grandpapa!" your firstborn says as he gives you a hug.

Your second born does the same and then says "Are we going to the movies?"

You nod and say that you will be back in a little while. The kids happily nod and head into the portal.

> You start twitching like a meth head.

You make twitches like a meth head and then give a short laugh as you try to look nonchalant. Your wife, who is still looking for the kids, notices you and comes over to see what is wrong.

> You slap her.

You slap your wife and say "The kids are in the fucking movie theater!"

"Huh?" your wife says as she rubs her face.

"The portal behind me just opened up and out came my grandsons."

Your wife pauses for a moment and asks if you are sure.

"Of course I'm sure!" you say.

Your wife nods and goes back to looking for the kids.

> You twitch uncontrollably.

You feel a surge of energy course through your body and you begin uncontrollably twitching like a meth head.

"What's wrong?" your wife asks worriedly as she runs up to you.

"I don't know, I'm just so happy I guess."

> You meth.

Your energy subsidies and you collapse on the floor.

"He's been like this ever since he found out the kids were at the movies." your wife says.

"You don't think it had something to do with that ghost, do you?

> You do meth.

You get up and go back to your house. You don't want your wife to worry.

You go into your room and begin a meth lab.

You take a moment to reflect on what has happened in your life. You think about how happy you are. You have a loving family, a good job, and all the money you could ever want.

Life is good.

You start cooking up some Blue Dream.

Your first time cooking meth is...a let down.

You're expecting something really intense.

> You inject your grandsons with the meth.

You inject the meth into the kids.

The kids are barely aware of what is happening. They have no idea that you are their grandfather, let alone what you've done.

Time passes.

Your grandsons grow up and have normal happy lives.

You get remarried and have more children.

The day comes when you're an old man. You die in your sleep.

Everything was normal.

> You wake up.

You wake up and immediately notice that you feel different.

You look in the mirror and scream as the reflection stares back at you.

Your hair is white.

You look around and realize that you're in a house that you don't recognize.

> You do meth.

You get in your car and drive to work.

On your way, you see a group of people holding a large banner that reads "LIVE free or die". You honk your horn and show them the middle finger.

> You do meth and run them over.

You get out of your car and run them over.

The car smashes into the ground. The horn continues to blare.

You laugh and take out your cell phone to take a video of the incident.

You continue to laugh as you drive away from the scene of the crime.

> You masturbate to the crime scene video.

You pull over on the side of the road and start stroking your...erm...hammer while watching the crime scene video over and over.

Your supervisor calls you on your cell phone.

You stop stroking and answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello, this is agent Ward from the FBI. We've got some questions for you."

You pause for a moment. "Shit. What do you want to know?

"What was your motive?"

You laugh. "What? What would make you think I had one?"

"You were arrested for manufacturing and selling methamphetamines. We believe you killed your wife and then framed your stepson for the crime.

> You do meth over the phone.

You continue to laugh.

"We're sending someone over to talk with you in person. What are the names of your lawyers?"

"I don't have any."

"Why not?"

"I don't know, I just never have. I get by just fine without one."

"Well I suggest you get one soon, if you want to go free."

"Sure, sure, whatever.

> You say "you should do meth with me, I've got a ton of blue meth on me right now "

"Well, you're free to go then. I'll tell you what, go get yourself some food, and we'll talk more about this later."

"Great."

You hang up the phone and drive to the nearest fast food joint.

> You run over the homeless people sleeping on the ground.

You pull out the meth and prepare to make more.

You make a large quantity of meth and quickly inject it into your arm.

You feel a rush of energy and blood rushes to your brain.

You get up, honking your horn at the people outside.

You pull out your gun and shoot at the people inside the buildings, as they duck behind their desks and step aside to avoid getting shot.

The police arrive on the scene and you laugh, knowing you'll get away with it.

You get in your car and drive off.

> You say "scream METH"

You drive around town for a bit before you notice a homeless man sitting on the side of the road.

You pull up to him and laugh as he looks confused.

"Well, you're finally free" you say. "I have lots of Blue Dream. Now you can finally be free as well!"

You laugh as the meth starts to kick in.

The man looks at you and suddenly runs past you.

> You scream METH at him.

You look around and the man is gone.

Suddenly a large group of biker men arrive on the scene.

"HEY SMOKER, COME ON OUT AND GET YOUR LITTLE GIRL!" one of them shouts.

"Fuck you, that was a waste! I'm not following you asshole!" you shout back.

Suddenly a biker runs up to your car and shoots you in the arm.

You grab your gun and shoot it at the biker, but miss.

> You yell METH.

You quickly get out of your car and begin running away.

You pull out the meth and begin to run around in circles.

The biker runs up to you and begins beating you in the face with his fists.

> You say "meth MeTh METH METH !!!!!!??!!!?1 M E TH"

Suddenly a large van pulls up to the scene.

A large man with tattoos all over his body steps out and begins shooting the bikers.

The Meth begins to kick in and you charge the biker, punching him in the throat and knocking him to the ground.

you begin to levitate into the air as you hear your head explode.

You laugh and begin destroying the rest of the biker gang with extreme violence.

The Meth intensifies your high as you take out your anger and frustration on the rest of the gang.

You take out a few more of the biker gang and only one man remains.

"Alright, I know you took out my friends, but I'm not afraid to stand up to you. I'm not gonna kill you, I'm gonna make you suffer first. Grab him Ward!"

> You ejackulate.

You grab the man and drag him into the back of your van.

You pull out a small piece of metal and jam it into his eye.

You drive around town for a bit before parking the van.

You notice a man walking alone in the middle of the road.

> You say "METH "

The man looks around and begins running.

"Hey stop!" you shout and begin running after him.

Suddenly a car drives onto the road and hits you.

You smash into a building and roll to a stop as your head smashes into the pavement.

You're Dead.

> You say "METH"

You scream as you see that the metal piece is still in your eye and your vision is blurry.

"METH"

Your vision clears and you grab the metal shard, pulling it out of your eye.

You begin walking towards the man, but he's long gone.

> You do meth with morty.

"I can't do this with out you."

You prepare to make some meth and notice that the snow has begun to fall lightly.

"Maybe I should head back to my apartment" You think to yourself.

You turn around and go back inside, locking the door behind you.

You walk to the kitchen and begin searching through the drawers for a knife.

You pull out a small blade and begin sharpening it.

"I really should buy a new knife, I wonder if the guy at the market has any good knives?" You think to yourself.

Morty walks into the apartment.

"Hey, have you seen my knife? I looked all over for it and I can't find it." You say to him.

"No, I haven't seen it since the last time you sharpened it." He replies.

"Oh"

> You stab morty's cock.

You walk over to the refrigerator and pull out a beer.

"Want one?" You ask, offering him one.

He smiles and replies "Sure."

You sit down on the couch and he sits next to you.

The TV turns on and you both begin watching it.

> You fillet morty's cock.

You quickly grab your knife and stab it into his crotch.

He screams out in pain and grips his crotch.

"Fuck, what the hell are you doing?" He shouts at you.

"What does it look like I'm doing??" You reply.

"You're psycho!"

You begin laughing.

"I'm not the one who is psycho."

You grab his beer and drink it, then grab his phone and begin texting someone.

You then proceed to smash his phone on the ground and beat him with it.

"Please, I have kids."

You punch him in the face and laugh as he falls to the ground.

"Do you want to know a secret?" You say to him.

"Yeah"

You grab your knife and run it through his throat.

You turn to his phone and begin smashing it.

"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you."

You laugh as blood begins to cover the ground.

"What are you doing?" He asks.

> You tell morty the secret while you pull off his skin.

"I've been keeping a secret from you and everyone else."

"Oh, what's that?"

You grab your knife and begin drawing it across his face.

"I'm immortal."

"No, really?"

You continue drawing the knife across his face, from his eye, to his nose, mouth and ears.

"Yeah, really."

You move your hand up to his eyes and begin slicing them out.

"I can't be killed, it doesn't work.

> You cut off his face and wear it.

You grab a nearby rolling pin and begin smashing it into his face.

His screams of pain are music to your ears.

"I'm going to kill you."

You smash the rolling pin into his skull, shattering it into a million pieces.

You drag him into the hallway and throw him against the wall.

"You deserve this."

You begin cutting off his skin, revealing his bloody and bruised face.

"Goodbye."

You drop the skin and leave it to dangle from the ceiling fan.

> You make a puzzle from his skull.

You grab a puzzle from the table and begin putting it together.

"This is fun." You say, as you fit the last piece into the correct position.

"Yeah, so am I allowed to go out or am I still grounded? I really need to go to the store, I only have milk and bread left and I'm running out."

"Go ahead and go out."

"Thank you, I'll be back around midnight."

You walk into your room and put on a beanie.

"Bye!

> You feed Morty your own excrement.

You get in your car and drive towards the store.

You pull into the parking lot and begin to search for a parking spot.

You find a spot near the front and get out of your car.

You begin to walk towards the store, you hear a rumbling.

You look up and see a huge RV driving straight towards you.

It gets close, the windows are tinted so you can't see who is inside.

A shotgun is aimed out of a window and the door swings open.

"GET IN." A man yells.

> You die.

You walk over to the RV and get in, it smells heavily of smoke and cigars.

The man driving it is heavyset with slicked back blonde hair.

> You shoot yourself in the head.

You pull out a gun and point it at your head.

"What are you doing?" The man asks.

"I'm committing suicide."

"Oh, well that's good then, we don't want you alive to rat us out to the cops.

> You kill youraelf.

You grab your knife and plunge it into his chest repeatedly, you can feel the ribs shatter as you push through.

He pulls the knife from his body and begins to stab you repeatedly.

You slam him into the wall and begin punching him in the face over and over again.

> You bleed out.

Your vision goes black and your body goes numb.

You lose consciousness as the sun begins to rise.

You're sure you'll be found soon, but who knows how long you'll be missing.

What happened to you?

> You the end.

Thanks for reading my story.